I don't know that I've ever been happier with the decor of an apartment. In my old apartment, I was in such a rush to get it "perfect". I actually made that statement out loud several times and each time it felt wrong. Now that I think back on that old apartment, there was always something just a bit off about it. I felt shut in despite all of the space. Now with less room in my new apartment and fewer belongings I feel a freedom that I don't think I've ever felt before at home.
On Tuesday I saw my first sunset from my patio. I face west toward the Hudson River and my view is dotted with those beautiful water towers that are found everywhere in New York City if we turn our gaze upward. The sky was a deep ruby red and lined with puffy clouds that took on a dusty blue hue as the sun sunk down behind New Jersey. There's an odd, comfortable feeling of belonging in this new space. I can't explain it except to say that it feels just right, imperfect and unfinished.
My life prior to this most recent move was too full. I felt too obligated, too burdened, a little claustrophobic and over-committed. I just didn't know how to simplify, how to free up my energy and my time. Now that I am through the stress of the most recent events, I am searching for every bright side possible. I'm too grateful for today, for every day, to not look for the bright sides. I'm turning over every stone to make sure I find as much happiness as possible.
In the past few days, I've found myself more relaxed and at ease, reluctant to rush or buy much of anything, reluctant to give away my time and space for anything less than those people and things that I truly, truly treasure. It's a sweet feeling to be surrounded only with what fills us up with joy.